Suspicious in Sarasota

Dear Neologist,

Is there a word for alibis/explanations so badly and weirdly phrased that they completely convince you that the person giving them is guilty? Because after reading this one* I wouldn't trust this person with even a pet rock.

Suspicious in Sarasota

 

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Dear Suspicious,

It took the Neologist several minutes to wrap their brain around this message—which should be all the proof you need that the Neologist is not, in fact, a giant boa constrictor. 

After giving thisss some thought, it is clear that this person is offering a 

Glaubwürdigkeitszerstörende Glaubwürdigkeitsbezeugung
     f, glaoob'-verdig-kites-tsur-shter'-un-duh glaoob'-verdig-kites-ba-tsoy-gong
     (a credibility-destroying credibility-declaration)

Sadly, even a cursory glance at the political landscape of our day suggests that this neologism was long needed and will see frequent use going forward. Stay strong!
Mit herzlichen Grüßen,

The Neologist