Dear Neologist:
I lived in Brooklyn New York almost all my life until 3 1/2 years ago when I made the unfortunate decision to move Orlando, Florida. Why would I move to Orlando from Brooklyn, you ask? I have a lot of family here... and since I was priced out of NYC real estate, wanted to buy a house and have a yard.
Quickly realizing that I felt like an alien in this land of theme parks, strip malls and rednecks, I put my house up for sale. But alas, the real estate market has crashed here and after 9 months and not a single offer, I took my house off the market. Now I am stuck here until the real estate market upturns and I can sell my house. I can't rent my house unless I take hundreds of dollars less than the mortgage.
Can you please give me a German compound word for my predicament?
Sincerely,
Brooklyn Girl Stuck in Orlando
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Dear Brooklyn Girl,
Oh my! Once again, a short, pungent Americanism seems most appropriate to your situation. Right away it's clear that you're exiled in a
Palmenbepflanztes Immobiliengefängnis
n, pahl'-men-buh-pfluntz'-tess im'-moe-bee'-lee-un-guh-fang'-nis
(palm-begrowthed real estate prison)
In a previous column, I mention the concept of
Fernweh
n, fairn'-vay
(homesickness for the far away)
This is simply, and terribly
Heimweh
n, hyme'-vay
(pain for home, homesickness)
Your circumstance is made immeasurably worse, though, by the fact that you got trapped in the consequence of a decision you yourself made, but that seemed fairly easily reversible. (I hate those!) Certainly, once could make the case that there are people much worse off. They may not have a house at all, or would love to live in Florida. But one would be an ass then, wouldn't one? You can't argue with homesickness. I spent a year in one of America's most liveable and desired cities, and I was miserable.
What can you do now but wait for the economy to rebound? Perhaps it's a good moment to get involved in a voter registration drive to advance your enlightened self-interest and meet fellow members of the diaspora perhaps? If nothing else, take heart in the fact that your years in exile will leave you bursting to make new art the minute you return to a place that makes you happy. You are sure to experience a serious
freudiger Heimkehrschaffenskraftausbruch
m, froy'-dig-gur hyme'-care-shuf'-fonz-ouws'-brook
(joyful home-return-power-to-create-erruption)
In the meantime, I keenly feel your pain, and hope
that an unexpected solution will present itself in short order.
Hängen Sie in there!
The Neologist
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